My Peculiar Little New Year’s Ritual
PC: Florré
I made a post last year, “Everything I’m leaving in 2023, and the energy I’m bringing into 2024”, and found it quite therapeutic at the time. While I always put pen to paper and journal out my new year’s resolutions, it was a different feeling entirely releasing some of these private, personal thoughts out on the internet. It also made it much easier to look back and see if I stayed true to the promises I made to myself. 365 days later, and I am pleased to say, I did. In 2024, I “stopped crying like a bitch”, I ate healthier, I prioritized better, and I rebuilt a strong relationship with myself. I’m quite proud of 2024 Bianca, and that’s a pretty solid feeling. Before you look into the new year, I invite you to reflect on the time that just passed and give yourself a big hug.
I’m doing things a little differently this year. While I confided my plans and goals in my private planner as usual, I’m keeping those thoughts a pretty little secret for now. Instead, I want to talk about a rather peculiar occurrence that happens to me every year in January, and that is: I get sick.
It is strange, but five years in a row I managed to get sick in January. And I don’t just mean getting a harmless cough — I mean I get the flu, covid, or whatever virus that goes around and knocks people out for two weeks. Despite the sore muscles and intense fevers, I’ve actually quite enjoyed these moments. Fresh into the new year, my body is given the chance to fully shut down, recover, and be reborn again. It’s always been a time for me to disconnect with the world and connect with my soul, and I come out of it feeling incredibly revived, inspired, and bursting with motivation.
That’s why I’m sitting here a little perplexed at the fact that I’m perfectly healthy at this moment… or so I thought. While I don’t have a fever or a cough, I have spent the last two weeks feeling completely off my game. I’ve looked into the mirror and not recognized myself. I’ve felt confused in my own body and foreign in my own thoughts. I don’t want to meet people, or post on Instagram, or work on my projects. It’s like I’m floating on a little cloud over a country I’ve never been to. It’s been rather annoying, to tell you the truth. But then I realized maybe this is my “sick” this year. This is my body getting its annual shut down, and it’s required in order to jump into the rest of the year fully recharged again.
At least that’s what I like to believe.
So here’s to my little new year’s ritual. I’ll accept this funky stage I’m in right now because it’s my way of recharging. I am positive that once I’m back on my feet, I’ll stand a foot taller and unfazed by any potential storm. It will be necessary, considering the big plans for 2025 ;) I hope you’ll enjoy this ride with me.
xx
Bianca
