Here’s What I Learned Is THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS
PC: @biancabiancak
I’ve had so many phases in life. Lonely phases, happy phases, ecstatic phases, depressive phases, etc. I’ve sat in rooms where people felt ashamed if they were seen with me and rooms where it felt like they were lining up just to talk to me (they weren’t but it felt like it lol). I’ve been in my own room crying and feeling like nothing and dancing feeling like the hottest shit alive. Did I look particularly different from one phase to the other? Did I weigh any different between happy and sad? No. Not one bit.
I’ve learned one big lesson in life, and if this is all I’ll ever learn in my (prospectively) 90 years on earth, I’ll be satisfied. And it’s that nothing even matters at all (Lauryn Hill’s voice), so just be confident. The combination of not taking anything seriously and self love is my winning recipe to life. The thing is, there are always going to be better looking people than you. There are always going to be wealthier people than you. People with better relationships, better houses, better jobs, better jaw structures, better clothes, better opportunities, etc. You have to find it in you to say “who cares! I still prefer me.”
I learned a long time ago to not stress over things I cannot control. I can’t control the fact that Beyonce has a killer voice (and hips, face, dance moves, etc) and I don’t. I can’t control that the girl I just passed by has eyebrows I’d kill caterpillars for and mine never grew back from overplucking them in high school. What I can control, however, is how I accept these facts, and there are always only two options: bitterly, or happily. Imma choose happily because in the end, whichever I choose, those facts remain the same. Being bitter won’t make Beyonce a worse singer. Accepting how much I love them, unrelated to me, makes me happy, however, and as a result, a much more pleasant person to be around. Conversely, if there is something I can control, how exciting is that on its own? You bet I’m gonna be on a mission to learn just how to master said thing (be it weight, language skills, kindness, etc.)
As I started learning this and looking inward rather than outward, my entire world started to change. Being content and at peace with myself, feeding my soul with care and love, led to me being much more calm and easy going. I grew roots below my feet so deep that nothing could shake me. When I looked up from my stance, I saw love all around me. People wanted to be in my aura, opportunities landed at my feet, relationships bloomed in ways I never experienced before. Having had little to no friends in the past, I knew this was something to cherish, I knew this was not a given — it was something to protect and appreciate, always.
Alllll of this is to say: your 態度, or the best english translation “attitude” in life is by far more important than anything I can think of. Love attracts love, confidence attracts opportunities. I don’t want to be anyone else in life — even if Margot Robbie came up to me and said “let’s swap lives,” it would be a no for me. I don’t want a single different life. I don’t want a different face, parents, sister, dog, job, friends — I don’t want to speak different languages, I don’t wish I grew up somewhere else, have had more money, been x y or z in any way. I’m completely, happily, me, and that is my superpower.
