Here’s How to Judge If Someone Is GENUINELY A GOOD PERSON
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I used to chuckle when friends were perplexed that certain lovers (typically men) would be so perfect to them in the first few months, and then turn stone cold after a while. “They treated me so special… They were so nice!” Is what they would say.
Honey, of course they were nice to you. They wanted you!! The question is, how were they to other people?
If you scratch your head, sort through your memories, and recall that they were talking trash about their friends, your friends, not being nice to the waiter, or found it hilarious to spook a squirrel, they are not nice people.
It’s so simple, yet so mysteriously dismissed. Fact is, a lot of people feel so pleased when they get “special treatment”. When they feel that they are the only ones to bring out the “kind side” in someone. But the truth is, no one person is that special to someone that they can change their DNA. It’s not going to be you who turns them nice, it’s going to have to be them.
One thing that’s saved me from ever getting a heartache is that my red flag radar is quite on point. I can sniff out ingenuity from miles away. I stand strong on my own two feet so it takes quite a lot to sweep me off of them. And while standing here, I’ve observed that most missed connections occur when we find someone we think is nice due to their practiced skillsets of good conversations, flattery, and confidence. Don’t get swept up by them. Instead, here’s out to find out if someone is genuinely a good person.
1. They don’t talk trash about other people, ever
Anyone and everyone might complain about a nasty boss, a troublesome sibling, or terrible roommate. That, however, is different from straight up talking dirty about someone seemingly random. To distinguish the two, think whether they are complaining about a situation they are put in due to another person, or pointing out someone’s insecurities or personality traits. Are they laughing at them? Are they belittling them to make themselves feel better? Are they telling you that you are so amazing because you’re not like that? … Think about it.
2. They’re nice to all living beings, no matter how small
I don’t expect anyone to make friends with the city rat, and it’s a whole other story if they have a phobia towards a critter, but nice people just don’t aggressively kill animals and insects. Sure, smack that mosquito that’s been buzzing around your ear. But you want to look for that someone who is unbothered by the creatures sharing our little space on this earth. I once saw a guy find it hilarious to serve-hit a tennis ball at a squirrel….??? Compared to another guy who removed the ants on the mini golf course so they don’t have to get hit.
3. They don’t constantly make you feel guilty
Here’s what psychopaths are great at: Turning a situation around, make you feel like you’re at fault, and then sweep in and tell you they love you regardless and are here for you. Their “kindness” lies in forgiving you for the thing they claim you’re at fault for. Do not fall for this!! 🚩🚩
4. They are consistent
And I mean that in all aspects. They are nice to the waiters, the doctors, the bosses, the chickens, and the plants. They are nice to you on a Monday, a Sunday, and everyday in between. They do what they say they’re going to do, and show up when they say they will. You won’t find yourself confused with their words because their actions don’t follow suit. You will find that you can rely on them easily.
5. They radiate a calm aura
This does not mean they don’t like to party or aren’t at the center of the room. This simply means that genuinely kind people, are just calm. You can feel it in the way they carry themselves. They don’t try to talk loud and over other people. There’s a certain peace in the way that they move that you will always be able to distinguish from the fakers.
